The Secret Five and the Stunt Nun Legacy by John Lawrence

Author:John Lawrence [Lawrence, John]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781848769885
Publisher: Troubador Publishing Ltd

Chapter Twenty

In which several troublesome things happen, and Ricky regrets the lack of HobNobs.

‘Okay, we can talk in here,’ said Daniel, ‘without him listening and being regularly punctuated by exclamation marks. We can be ourselves. God, this is so tiring.’

‘You’re right,’ said Betty. ‘We can talk in here like adults. Anyone else uneasy with all this crap?’

‘Me,’ said Amy. ‘It feels so tiresome and dreary being a one dimensional anodyne protagonist and having to say stuff like “yes, let’s”.’

‘Too bloody right!’ Ricky said. ‘And, what gets me is the regular use of these simple adjectives, qualifiers, adverbs, and basic linguistic structure.’

‘Although I notice,’ Daniel said, ‘that sometimes you’re actually given dialogue with a particularly literary register, Betty. ’

‘You’re just jealous. But it’s refreshing when it happens, that’s for sure,’ she said, ‘although I crave for dramatic irony and the odd metaphor.’

‘So, do we just carry on? What do you think, Betty?’ Ricky asked.

‘We have no choice.’

‘Betty’s right,’ agreed Amy. ‘We do have to. God, let’s get it over with. I can’t wait for a good bonk when we get out of here.’

They laughed. ‘That’s what I like about Amy,’ Daniel said. ‘She always lets her art show through.’

‘But this is crazy!’ said Ricky. ‘I can’t do this. I have a third dimension that’s bursting to break out.’

‘Just stick with it for now,’ suggested Betty.

‘Exactly,’ said Daniel. ‘But to be honest, that dog gets on my nerves. The suggestion that it knows more than we do is ridiculous.’

‘I’ll agree with that,’ said Ricky. ‘But can I make a point? We have no plotted means of getting back to the present day. We can’t just walk out, as we’d be stuck in 1964, and I have other contracts. I’m due to play the young Leopold Bloom in Ulysses The Prequel soon.’

‘So what do we do?’ asked Amy.

‘Well, we can’t all leave now,’ said Betty.

‘And I can’t live in 1964 Salzburg forever, for God’s sake,’ said Daniel. ‘This is a plot hole that I can’t see a way out of. How do we get out of 1964? No digital alarm clocks, you see. It’s yet another plot cock-up. Just like all these 1964 people who know we exist! Crazy!’

‘Maybe,’ suggested Betty, ‘we should quiz this Uncle Quagmire character about it. He seems to know about this sort of stuff.’

‘Then we’ll do that,’ said Ricky.

‘And be nice to the dog,’ said Amy. ‘She’s probably as upset as all of us.’

‘Isn’t she a he?’ asked Betty. Amy shrugged. ‘No idea.’

‘Let’s go and do as Betty says,’ said Ricky, ‘and quiz this Quagmire character.’

‘Okay, let’s go,’ said Daniel. ‘The quicker we get on with Act III, the quicker we’ll be out of here.’

‘Yes, let’s go,’ said Amy.

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